Comment number one, “that baby is as cute as a cookie.” This reaction is full of all the happy goodness that you would come to expect when gazing upon a baby. One could never go wrong comparing a baby to warm, sweet, and delicious baked goods unless comments like these were used to describe the contents of a full and overflowing diaper. Diapers are warm but never sweet and delicious unless you are my brother's dog, Midnight, who likes to regularly consume used diapers.
Another example perhaps of what not to say is, “that child’s head is gigantic and look at those ears! He looks like a platter with two handles.” I can see the mother now, eyes wide, gritting her teeth, foaming at the mouth while trying to cover the child’s handle-like ears to protect him from such thoughtless and insensitive comments. Truth be told, the child’s head did actually resemble one of those chrome turkey platters with the big gangly handles on each side.
A few days ago, a family member who will not be named sent us an email with a few pictures attached comparing our baby Stella to a harbor seal. At first, I was a bit taken back. How could this be? Our child cannot be compared to a seal or a platter? Why not a marshmallow, a fluffy piece of cotton candy, a Hostess product, but please not a harbor seal.
However, upon closer examination I realized that she does indeed resemble the loveable, not club-able harbor seal. Take a look:
We would like to personally thank the unnamed family member who had the courage to speak out about our child. More people should be willing to say how they feel about a child. I have often wanted to point out that some newborns are not "baked goods" material and they look more like Keith Richards, a reptile, or Liza Minelli. I will no longer hold back. People should be know the truth.
Here are some pics of our little harbor seal swimming in the water:
3 comments:
hahahahahahahahaha. I agree harbor seals are cute.
um i would also like to add that some other unnamed family membres keep telling me that stella looks just like me. and that's all fine and dandy. but then i think about it and let's just say that teen-age seals are...well... NOT SO CUTE [in the words of teen girl squad]
Have you ever seen a harbor seal? They are actually quite cue and curious- like swimming dogs with no ears. In spite of what others say, I actully find being compared to a harbor seal positive. And Stella seems to thrive in the water just like a seal.
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