Thursday, January 25, 2007
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Harbor Seal?
There are many comments that one could make when seeing a baby. I would like to mention a few that have actually been uttered within our family to describe babies.
Comment number one, “that baby is as cute as a cookie.” This reaction is full of all the happy goodness that you would come to expect when gazing upon a baby. One could never go wrong comparing a baby to warm, sweet, and delicious baked goods unless comments like these were used to describe the contents of a full and overflowing diaper. Diapers are warm but never sweet and delicious unless you are my brother's dog, Midnight, who likes to regularly consume used diapers.
Another example perhaps of what not to say is, “that child’s head is gigantic and look at those ears! He looks like a platter with two handles.” I can see the mother now, eyes wide, gritting her teeth, foaming at the mouth while trying to cover the child’s handle-like ears to protect him from such thoughtless and insensitive comments. Truth be told, the child’s head did actually resemble one of those chrome turkey platters with the big gangly handles on each side.
A few days ago, a family member who will not be named sent us an email with a few pictures attached comparing our baby Stella to a harbor seal. At first, I was a bit taken back. How could this be? Our child cannot be compared to a seal or a platter? Why not a marshmallow, a fluffy piece of cotton candy, a Hostess product, but please not a harbor seal.
However, upon closer examination I realized that she does indeed resemble the loveable, not club-able harbor seal. Take a look:
We would like to personally thank the unnamed family member who had the courage to speak out about our child. More people should be willing to say how they feel about a child. I have often wanted to point out that some newborns are not "baked goods" material and they look more like Keith Richards, a reptile, or Liza Minelli. I will no longer hold back. People should be know the truth.
Here are some pics of our little harbor seal swimming in the water:
Comment number one, “that baby is as cute as a cookie.” This reaction is full of all the happy goodness that you would come to expect when gazing upon a baby. One could never go wrong comparing a baby to warm, sweet, and delicious baked goods unless comments like these were used to describe the contents of a full and overflowing diaper. Diapers are warm but never sweet and delicious unless you are my brother's dog, Midnight, who likes to regularly consume used diapers.
Another example perhaps of what not to say is, “that child’s head is gigantic and look at those ears! He looks like a platter with two handles.” I can see the mother now, eyes wide, gritting her teeth, foaming at the mouth while trying to cover the child’s handle-like ears to protect him from such thoughtless and insensitive comments. Truth be told, the child’s head did actually resemble one of those chrome turkey platters with the big gangly handles on each side.
A few days ago, a family member who will not be named sent us an email with a few pictures attached comparing our baby Stella to a harbor seal. At first, I was a bit taken back. How could this be? Our child cannot be compared to a seal or a platter? Why not a marshmallow, a fluffy piece of cotton candy, a Hostess product, but please not a harbor seal.
However, upon closer examination I realized that she does indeed resemble the loveable, not club-able harbor seal. Take a look:
We would like to personally thank the unnamed family member who had the courage to speak out about our child. More people should be willing to say how they feel about a child. I have often wanted to point out that some newborns are not "baked goods" material and they look more like Keith Richards, a reptile, or Liza Minelli. I will no longer hold back. People should be know the truth.
Here are some pics of our little harbor seal swimming in the water:
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Wesley Willis
In the words the late great Wesley Willis:
I'm sorry that I got fat.
I'm sorry that I got fat.
I'm sorry that I got fat.
I will slim down.
Truly he loved like a milkshake.
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Christmas has come and the Goose is getting Fat..
We've eaten. eaten. eaten. ice cream. cookies. cakes. we've traveled. gifted. partied. gamed. hugged. kissed. played with cousin upon cousin. nacho libred. made tons of messes all over both grandmas houses. museumed. AND Frankly we are merry christmas-ed out! SO, Happy New Year. Hope we are not the only geese getting fat, and now its time for some GO-Lean and salads.
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
HOLIDAYS
So every year the feel of the HOLIDAYS is a bit different. In years past, I have been disconnected. But this year I am totally brainwashed by the whole thing, retail impulse buys and everything. I risked my life when a massive fake tree we put up in our front yard fell on me, I listen to Pandora on yuletide mode all day long, we actually sent out a card this year, the list goes on and on.I hope all of you have an enjoyable holiday season and spend time with those you love.
MERRY CHRISTMAS !
Monday, November 06, 2006
Try to keep in touch
We have spent the last several months buying a house. When I say buy, I mean make an offer, wait for offer to be accepted and close. Simple right? Wrong. So very wrong. To save you from the "nitty gritty", I choose to tell you the details as briefly as possible in the antiquated but useful telegram format. Here goes: Live Avenues impossible. Look for houses anyway. Get frustrated. Find 4 plex in aves owned by ailing 85 year old man. Nicest man in the world. House not on market. Make offer anyway. Wait for 3 months not knowing while covertly trying to evict 21 year old drug addict. Evict addict. Buy 4plex! Learn how to remodel 1940's house. Drink Coke.
The end.
The end.
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