Last night we had a birthday dinner for my mom at the best canned Mexican food place you can find in Provo, Los Hermanos. When we asked my mom what she would like to do for her birthday, she said, "we can have dinner at my house." We all knew that this would not do for a woman who has ground her own wheat and cooked more homemade meals than any single human in the world. She made marshmellows from scratch once! So the children decided to treat her to dinner (Isaac and Kim tuned in on a cell phone from their new digs in Michigan), get her a special present
. . . and give her a good old fashioned roasting
Eege
My Mom is one of the few people from the great pioneering Johnson line to continue the colloquial tradition of pronouncing words that end in "age" with"eege". For example the word "garbage" would be pronounced, "garbeege". The posibilities are endless for this Southern Utah country bumpkin pronunciation: cabbeege, folieeege, poreege, blogeege, luggeege, etc.
Prom
When I was in high school, I meticulously timed one of my girlfriends to be my prom date during junior year. Unfortunately, a few weeks before the dance I was dumped. So I did the next best thing and asked the veterinarian's daughter at the pet store I worked to go to Junior Prom. As if this were not disgrace enough, when I brought her home to mom, her reply was, "Wow Tom! I don't know how you manage to date such beautiful girls when you are such a homely boy."
Polio and Babies
Shortly after Laura and I were married my mom decided to tell us a nice little story about a couple she knew that were able to have just one or two kids before the effects of polio set in making it impossible to have anymore. I think that she was trying to say don't wait too long to have children (boy was she right!). Unfortunately her lesson was lackluster due to the eradication of polio decades ago. A few other lessons ending with the words death and babies: Don't run over a box in the road a baby could be inside, don't take a shower with your baby because the soapy lather will cause the baby to slip out of your hands,fall on its head, and most certainly die.
Jackass
My mom would never talk badly about my dad in front of us. Even though we were young when the "Big D" went down, I think all of us knew that my dad pulled the trigger on their marriage. But when Aunt Dawn and Aunt Martha would come over after the kids were supposedly asleep, you could always hear my dad's name associated with cackling laughter and the word "jack ass." Thanks for the language lesson!
The Egalitarian
With all of this said, I did not get a chance to say a few more things about my mom. All of the above statements are endearing memories of a woman who at her core is the strongest person I know. I always know where I stand with her. She is direct, articulate and a true egalitarian. My mom is a genuine person and I have so many fond memories of her consistently giving all of her children individualized attention and love.
Happy Birthday Mom!
Thanks for bringing me into the world.
Love,
Tom
