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Thursday, November 29, 2007
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Romance
Laura and I talk on the phone about 15 times a day. The majority of our conversations consist of her saying, "Sammy is screaming and Stella just took her diaper off - click." At church, we get a solid 15 minutes of engaging discussion or insight and then its the usual screaming, crapping, eating, cant find something, etc.
A few months ago Laura and I were on a walk and she told me all about the art movement, Globalism and that has really been the most exiting thing since sleeping in an extra five minutes before Stella's diaper starts to leak and the day starts over. The conclusion that I am getting at with the above mentioned scenarios is that there is not a lot of what the world would define as Romance going on in our lives. But I think that the world needs a new definition.
This year was a landmark year for me. 9 years of marriage this month. Stella is beautiful and healthy. Sam is five years old and amazing. When I was five my parents' marriage was over. My mom took us to my grandparent's house and we moved on. As I was saying, Sam is now 5 and a few months ago we subscribed to the great grand American vacation and hit Disneyland for the first time. Despite the whole "Disney" stigma and perpetuation of romance ideals, etc, I have to say that the following simple equation made me so happy:
At the end of the night, Sam had the big ears and everything. There he was, candy stains all over his tired face, riding the parking shuttle at midnight with his eyes lazily open and a big smile on his face, it was so great.
So what is this romance business? And why do people fall in and out of commitment?
Now that we are about to celebrate our 9 year anniversary, the divorce stats are already starting to become a harsh reality all around us. I know that we are not experts on the subject. I do think one thing though: The grass is never greener." I think that it is safe to say this under the majority of circumstances.
When Laura and I were going through our fertility issues trying like hell to have another baby. No offense to any one but I am convinced that the whole family pretty much at one point or another thought we were totally nuts. And at some point I think that Laura and I did question our sanity. But we continued down the path and gratefully had Stella. We went through some of the most difficult stuff we will probably ever have to deal with and came out the other side, intact having more love for each other then we had before. I am not sure why the world wants relationships that are fragmented and only deal with a snapshot of a person in a short period of non-committed time. The real pay off is sticking with it and getting to know each other as whole people, warts and all.
Even Disneyland gets it. I always thought the "happily ever after" was perpetuating romance ideals. But if you look closer almost every story is about going through some difficulty however simplified and finding redemption and happiness on the other side. Maybe old Walt was trying to say that "happily ever after" consists of going through the challenge, redemption, and resolve cycle over and over. The myth is that happiness should come without effort.
So romance, what is it? I think that it is going through challenges and getting to the other side. The pay off is there and it takes whole people to go through them.
November 21 1998 - 2007 I love you more than ever.
A few months ago Laura and I were on a walk and she told me all about the art movement, Globalism and that has really been the most exiting thing since sleeping in an extra five minutes before Stella's diaper starts to leak and the day starts over. The conclusion that I am getting at with the above mentioned scenarios is that there is not a lot of what the world would define as Romance going on in our lives. But I think that the world needs a new definition.
This year was a landmark year for me. 9 years of marriage this month. Stella is beautiful and healthy. Sam is five years old and amazing. When I was five my parents' marriage was over. My mom took us to my grandparent's house and we moved on. As I was saying, Sam is now 5 and a few months ago we subscribed to the great grand American vacation and hit Disneyland for the first time. Despite the whole "Disney" stigma and perpetuation of romance ideals, etc, I have to say that the following simple equation made me so happy:
Me 5 years old = Divorce
Sam 5 years old = Disneyland
Sam 5 years old = Disneyland
At the end of the night, Sam had the big ears and everything. There he was, candy stains all over his tired face, riding the parking shuttle at midnight with his eyes lazily open and a big smile on his face, it was so great.
So what is this romance business? And why do people fall in and out of commitment?
Now that we are about to celebrate our 9 year anniversary, the divorce stats are already starting to become a harsh reality all around us. I know that we are not experts on the subject. I do think one thing though: The grass is never greener." I think that it is safe to say this under the majority of circumstances.
When Laura and I were going through our fertility issues trying like hell to have another baby. No offense to any one but I am convinced that the whole family pretty much at one point or another thought we were totally nuts. And at some point I think that Laura and I did question our sanity. But we continued down the path and gratefully had Stella. We went through some of the most difficult stuff we will probably ever have to deal with and came out the other side, intact having more love for each other then we had before. I am not sure why the world wants relationships that are fragmented and only deal with a snapshot of a person in a short period of non-committed time. The real pay off is sticking with it and getting to know each other as whole people, warts and all.
Even Disneyland gets it. I always thought the "happily ever after" was perpetuating romance ideals. But if you look closer almost every story is about going through some difficulty however simplified and finding redemption and happiness on the other side. Maybe old Walt was trying to say that "happily ever after" consists of going through the challenge, redemption, and resolve cycle over and over. The myth is that happiness should come without effort.
So romance, what is it? I think that it is going through challenges and getting to the other side. The pay off is there and it takes whole people to go through them.
November 21 1998 - 2007 I love you more than ever.
Sam's Talk
Sam gave the following talk during the primary program in sacrament meeting 11/11/07:
"The Liahona is round with a little point thing and a dot. It can only work when people are being good and also being nice and not naughty. That’s why we all talk about being kind to others. Something bad happens when Laman and Lemuel tie Nephi up and everything is so sore and there is a storm. That’s why we love the Lord everyday. We don’t want to forget. We don’t want to get lost I know that Jesus is our best friend. He loved his family. He had some little brothers."
"The lions were friends to Daniel when he prayed. It was strange because he put Daniel in the lions den. It would be so scary if I was in the lions den because I would be worried that they would bite me. Daniel wasn't scared, not one bit because he was brave and he prayed. When we pray, it will make us brave too but maybe not as brave as Daniel, because he was super brave. Daniel couldn’t see anything because remember there was a rock and it was like dark but Daniel had Jesus with him."
"Heavenly father came to him. Why did Heavenly Father come to him? I don’t know do you? The rod was hooked up to the tree you know. The rod is just a plain old rope. The tree means its heaven. They needed to hold onto the rod to get to the tree."
"The scriptures teach us to be brave and have faith. It is good to follow the scriptures they teach us to follow Jesus and to be kind and good. Amen."
Sam's Voicemails
Over the last year and a half, Sam has left messages at my office phone. I have archived them over and over to save them in hopes that I would eventually get around to posting them on our blog. Just click the links on the right hand side to hear them.
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